Knowing The Score

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Linda is a Mercenary who dated Bob, and Bob didn’t know the score. Bob got his heart kicked in when she broke up with him. Why would she do that? They spent so much time playing guitar together over the past year! He couldn’t understand it at all.

Linda then dated Jose, who knew the score. Jose was bilingual and had dated a Mercenary before. He didn’t get emotionally attached, and just had casual fun times while dating Linda. When they drifted apart, he knew it was because she was finished studying his native language. He simply got up, got out and met more women. All good, because he knew the score.

Linda then tried to date Tom, who also knew the score, but who wasn’t willing to date her as she was only interested in his industry connections. After Identifying her as a Mercenary, he quietly disappeared and simply met more women. All good for him as well, because he knew the score.

What’s A Mercenary?

Mercenaries are close cousins to Gold-Diggers, but slight different. They’re similar in that they both have no emotional attachment whatsoever to the guys they’ve “targeted.” They’re different in that a Gold-Digger agenda is to land a guy with lots of money in order to make it their own, whereas a Mercenary’s is look for guys who will give them some kind of non-monetary value throughout their relationship.

For example, one Mercenary might date various musicians for no other reason than to learn how to play their instruments, then dump them once she’s feel she’s proficient enough. Another example, a Merceny might date a foreign guy who she’s not really into at all, but she wants to learn his native language in order to be more attractive to foreign guy who she IS into.

What Does It Mean To Know The Score?

Knowing the score means knowing the likely upsides and downsides of dating a given person.

Knowing the score is accepting the reality of who they are, as they are, without any “put-them-up-on-a-pedestal” delusions, nor without any false hope that you can somehow “change” them.

Bob, the big ‘loser’ of the story above, did NOT know the score. (Although we would accept an argument that he was the big winner of the story above since he probably learned the most.)

Jose and Tom DID know the score.

Jose knew Linda wasn’t really interested in him besides as a source for learning his native language, and went ahead and dated her. Since he didn’t delude himself into believing his interaction with her was anything more than it was, they were able simply enjoy their time together.

Tom also knew the that Linda wasn’t really interested in him outside of the industry connections he could supply, so he simply chose not to date her. Another respectable decision that keeps him safe from heartbreak.

We don’t live in a world of perfection. And expecting this is not healthy for most guys out there. There are no clean deals. Thus, we teach guys to ‘know the score.’

Learning to read women, how into you they truly are, what their core personalities are like, what kind of agenda they have and how much ‘good stuff’ you can ‘draw out’ is what we teach and what we’re all about here at DM.

Two useful questions to ask yourself in determining ‘what the score is’ with an attractive woman you just met is:

What flaw/flaws do I see in her right out of the gate? And how will this/these perceived flaw(s) in her character affect our relationship (be it for a 5 minute conversation or the next 50 years of my life)?

Enjoy yourself, but remember to keep your wits about you.

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